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Sorry didn't help.

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Hey, Friends.
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Not every victim will get the opportunity to even hear their culprit apologize. I am one of the few.
 I often thought that if  I was told sorry I  have done you wrong. Those words would make me feel better but it didn't.
It's not all it's cracked up to be. It didn't do me any good. His sorry didn't help me.
 He approaches me with compliments of how well I have done for myself. How beautiful are your children, how wonderful my family is and he exits the room.

He approaches again. He says."You wrote me a letter many years back, I didn't know I hurt you. That wasn't my intention. I was a boy. I am a man now. I am sorry''.
14 years old, 9 months of pain, 25 years later and your sorry didn't help.
I was a child, he stole from me,  he robbed me of my innocence, he stripped my power, he stripped me of my integrity and he wipe the floor with my esteem. Sorry didn't help.

 Instead his sorry, started a tail spin of emotions.Years of therapy helped; but I couldn't process these new feelings.  His sorry left me helpless and afraid. Just the shadow of his presence left me numb & disgusted.
 My heart stop, my brain took flight. How dear he force his agenda on me? His guilt he expel from his lips as though it would give me solace as he anticipates his apology will help him once again feel good. His, sorry was an attempt on his behalf to forget what he did to me. Shame on him! 
You............  PIG! Moving on...........

He is just as manipulating now as he was then. Did you think I could accept that? His distasteful attempt to step up as a man; cannot relate to the broken inner child that is buried in me because she died. She died when you opened a portal; that led her into the world before she was even ready to venture into it. Sorry DID NOT HELP! 

 Maybe he can run but the day of  judgement he will account for it.
 Nevertheless, he is forgiven.

He is forgiven because greater is he that is within me(Christ) than he that is of this world. He is forgiven  because he can no longer hurt me. He is forgiven because many years ago I realize that the longer I held him in contempt; the more entrapped I am by him.  I could never give him that chance not ever.
The more I hung on to the pain he cause me the more he persecuted me, my soul, my mind. 
 So I have released him of the burden. His despicable action is now the property of him. 
(The John Doe)  He is forgiven. May God bless him.

He is forgiven not on his terms but on the premise that I've chosen to forgive him. My power is mine and he shall no longer have it.

Sorry, didn't help that time.
Forgiveness, did 
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.Matthew 6:14 | KJV 
I have one shot at heaven. If I cannot forgive this man who hurt me as a child then I will forfeit a life with my heavenly father, I will forfeit my happiness, healing and peace. It means more to me to be happy; than bitter and miserable because of someone's lack of discipline and self control. Won't you agree?

Accepting that it once was and no LONGER  will ever be gives you control.  Choose to live for today, tomorrow your future because yesterday is long gone never to return.

 Sorry didn't help me but forgiveness help me dismiss rage.

No one person in this life is perfect, at some point in our lives we will get hurt and or will hurt someone. Sometimes we will lose relationships or people we love because of what was done or said. The only way to fill that void and emptiness is to forgive and perhaps let go. Then the tone and mode of your story changes to something pleasing to live with.

“I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself.”esconder T. D. Jakes
Now I am no longer a slave to someones action. 
Free to be me.Simply ZsaZsah  
https://youtu.be/dx7sLNyIeQk ( I do not own rights to this song)
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