One of the most difficult things; I am learning is just saying No. Believe me as simple as it sounds at times it may be very difficult to just say it. I have heard No so many times, and each time causing disappointment. I think somehow; all my negative interactions that resulted in someone telling me no made me so numb that it became hard for me to do so. Even if that was truly what needed to be said.
In lieu I developed an harmful attitude that for me to say no was to hurt others and that was an assurance that I didn't care. Folks that is far from the truth. When needed take a deep breath and say no its about time you take care of you.
Have we just taught ourselves that saying no to others is simply, insensitive, in-compassionate and a blatant disregard for someone's esteem? So what ever should we do?
Should we continue accepting things we cannot afford to do, certain things that makes us uncomfortable, things that we cannot deliver positive results with; just so we can be inline with the silly nature of pleasing some individual; we are interacting with? One can hope that your answer will be no.
I finally found my No, really it was one of the most incredible feelings. For once in my life I stood up for myself and said No. I meant it and it was so. After years of having people take advantage of my kindness and taking advantage of me I was liberated by my no.
I discovered that day that throughout my life the causation of most of my biggest disappointments was the lack of me executing my God given power. It wasn't other people's fault but mine. I was giving away my power due to my lack of self-esteem.
I was in such awe of pleasing people to get their approval that I neglected the benefits I needed for me to simply just be okay.
It wasn't easy though after many failed attempts and many self help books. It came down to one day me just going within myself. I was so unhappy by something that I was so uncomfortable doing. The longer I entertained it the longer I was sinking deep away from myself. The further I engaged in these actions; It felt like I was devastating & disappointing the Holy Spirit.
This was eating away at my core. My core is to love God with all my heart and love myself. My no came from desperation. You see I was desperate to hold to the progress I had achieved. I was a new creation my old self had died and the new woman in me was one I was please with.
The new woman in me is strong, passionate, caring, loving, wise, soulful and driven taking nothing for granted and Spirit Filled. My no was found in my desperation to hold on to the woman I strive to be. That is someone that I can count on.
1 John 4:4 King James Version (KJV)So I went in.
4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Deep in my soul I searched for the root to where this attitude developed and changed my thought process.
I acknowledged and accepted that this was a weakness that needed to be strengthen.
I allowed myself to know that the health of my existence is counting on me to protecting my self from harm of predators, opportunist, manipulations and undeserving disappointments.
I fasted and prayed knowing that without the Holy Spirit I am defenseless against spiritual attacks. I found this most efficient.
I looked in the mirror and said no to myself to all the things I should have said no to long ago and No to the things I won't allow into my life, I called names of people I needed to say no to, I said no to the situations.
In the same mirror I told myself no to anything against the desires of my heart. Then I forgave myself.
I waited patiently; for the test and believe me it didn't take long. Sure enough a situation presented itself and I almost; I almost succumb but I heard a whisper do what is best for you.
You see God showed up and strengthen me when I open my mouth and said no I was shocked I did it! No I said it again so I could hear myself say it. I did it!
I meant it! It was so liberating; years of abuse shriveled up into a speck. I found my No. I am defending my self, my spirit, my peace of mind.
Then I realized it didn't matter what anyone else thought of me. This woman was thinking highly of herself and she was protecting herself.
Something was activated in me. That was value.
I valued myself enough to see that I was a rare commodity that needed to be safe guarded from treacherous folks.
I valued the Holy Spirit in me to preserve God's fondness in me. I also recognize that the word No has nothing to do with power. Power lies with yourself and how desperate you are to preserve your peace, happiness and soul.
Come into yourself to know what is right for you. Somehow God has blessed us with an innate mechanism that is triggered when we know something isn't right. It's our duty when that triggered is alerting us to decipher the best solution that is most fitting for the circumstance. Please do what's best for you. Just take a deep breath, open your mouth and say No Thank you!
With Strength and Power
Simply Zsa Zsah
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