First, Thank you for all the support you have shown, your encouraging emails and comments. I hope that this new year, this new day brings you Joy, peace, happiness, wealth and success in your endeavors.
Let's get to this matter.....
As Mentioned in prior blogs; I express the caution and causation one has to take with whom you let enter into your life. I received lots of emails regarding relationships your questions and comments have been so insightful.
In my adolescence to young adult years; I had develop a mentality to depend only on myself. Trust no one. This was unhealthy. This attitude and behavior was stemmed from lack of maturity and choice of trusting the wrong people with the inner most important aspects of my life. When you make the wrong choice of trusting the wrong people the results are devastating.
I carried this behavior in my life for a very long time. I am paying for that majorly today. Although, I have made some massive headway. I've lost time that I can never regain. It can be a very lonely, isolated life when you shut people out.
Even if your attempt is to protect yourself. At some point in your state of protection; you become barricaded by your fears and you lose out on the grand adventure of life. Life is about adventure and pursuit. If you're barricaded by lack of trust of others it's because you lack trust in yourself and your ability to shift and know with whom is worthy to offer your trust to.
The problem isn't others as you assume. It's you. It's deep. It's not quite your fault either. At some point in your life your hurt consumed the best part of you. In return you closed doors to the possibility; in an attempt to protect what is important. Your Love, your trust, your loyalty, your compassion, your heart the list goes on.
Hence; you made a choice to never go down that road again. And so there it happens. The road was never travel. Is it then fair to say that perhaps it's not even the road but the vehicle? Perhaps the choice of time traveled? Perhaps it's the choice of whom you traveled with? What I'm guiding you to understand is this. The road isn't the issue and neither are the people.
It's the choice executed. Some point you made a choice and whether a good or bad choice. That relies on your approach. Know this. Healing can't start until you acknowledge the role you played in the choice you made.
The only true way to trusting yourself is the acknowledgement of mistakes. At least by the time you recognized the mistake you are one step wiser from proactively not allowing it to happen again. Choosing rational, realistic approaches. Not shutting down or out and quitting.
I spent so many years in isolation that when I was ready to come out it was pitiful another horrendous mistake; because instead of gaining friendship it appears to as though I was desperately; begging for friendship.
That was awful to say the least. I just want to make this clear. Being isolated taught me to be ok alone I'm comfortable alone very; but I have discovered the true value to having great healthy friendships and people I can trust. To get to a place of content you must know what is your balance. I trust my friends because have enable myself equip to choosing them wisely. Even with the possibility it will end at some point. I own its value.
I was ready to open my doors and no one was even interested. It worked out for me because I learned this vital lesson people will come; they will go. Some have a time, some have a purpose, some the purpose is to teach some the purpose is to learn. Then by accident you will find ones that despite how perfectly flawed you are they will love you.
Despite how ANGRY you get they will understand. You will disagree and not speak; but a friend will miss you two days after not speaking. Sorry is sincere and laughter is a golden; a mutual expression of unity in that bond. They will be highs in that relationship and lows; the lows results in highs and lows will be a work in progress and the people or single person will support you all the way. The Bond is irrevocable because the unity and the love is stronger than pride, fear and history. Through the tests and stages in time the irrevocable bond will develop and that's a true friend!
Metaphorically; If you shut doors nothing comes in; all doors where meant to be open so we can let some stuff out and closed to keep some stuff in. We need each other in this life and in almost everything we need a friend, companion sister, brother etc. You may be surprise That God places someone in your life that truly is even better than you ever expected. A true pal and not an opportunist.
Open yourself to possibility but use wisdom and use discernment if you cannot trust others start learning to trust who you are learn to walk in truth your truth God's Truth.
Proverbs 18:24 New Living Translation (NLT)
24 There are “friends” who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
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